REVIEW 384: SANTA BANTA PVT LTD

Release date:	April 22, 2016
Director:	Akashdeep
Cast: Language:	Boman Irani, Vir Das, Vijay Raaz, Sanjay Mishra, Lisa Haydon, Ram Kapoor, Neha Dhupia, Johnny Lever, Vrajesh Hirjee, Ayub Khan, Guest appearances: Sonu Nigam, Vikas Bhalla and Manmohan Singh Hindi

Santa Banta jokes are a national treasure. Their long survival is, in a sense, an ode to the country’s Sikhs who are among the few Indian communities with the ability to laugh at themselves (an image that terrorists and sections of the clergy have been consistently trying to undermine, ever since bombs were exploded in theatres showing Jo Bole So Nihaal in Delhi in 2005).

Hindi cinema has also been guilty of unfairly exploiting the Sikh sense of humour by lazily and unintelligently stereotyping ‘Sardars’ as belligerent loudmouths and buffoons even in spaces where laughter is not relevant. There’s a thesis begging to be written here. Suffice it to say for the purpose of this review that director Akashdeep’s Santa Banta Pvt Ltd comes to theatres bearing the burden of a formidable legacy.

The film stars Boman Irani and Vir Das as small-time crooks Santeshwar Singh and Banteshwar Singh from Patiala. The two are mistaken for a duo of renowned and skilled spies going by the nicknames Santa and Banta, and are consequently roped in by India’s RAW (Research and Analysis Wing) to solve the kidnapping of the country’s High Commissioner to Fiji, Shankar Roy (Ayub Khan). Since the agent responsible for the confusion – a guy called Arvind played by Vijay Raaz – cannot afford to admit to his faux pas, Santa and Banta are packed off to Fiji.

There they meet the ambassador’s wife Kareena S. Roy (Neha Dhupia who also plays the love of Santa’s life, Billo), the wealthy antiques trader Sonu Sultan (Ram Kapoor) who is also the Roys’ friend, a RAW agent called Akbar Allahabadi (Sanjay Mishra) who is Santa-Banta’s pointsperson in that country, an undercover RAW operative called Queenie Taneja a.k.a. QT (Lisa Haydon), a Nepalese underworld don (Johnny Lever) and the gangster Antonio Kapoor (Ranjeet).

The multiplicity of characters introduced in quick succession justifies the text plates flashing on screen with their names and photographs in the beginning. You might assume that confusion over who is who would be the risk this film runs. That ends up not being the problem at all. The problem Santa Banta Pvt Ltd ends up with is: who cares who is who?

It is perhaps illogical to expect better from a  film that takes itself so casually. When the opening Hindi voiceover speaks of “Hindu, Muslim, Isaai, Sikh”, the English words flashing on screen are “Hindu, Muslim, Catholic, Sikh” (umm, Catholics are only a sub-set of Christians). Actress-model Lisa Haydon’s name is spelt differently in the opening and end credits. And Ram Kapoor suffers from inexplicably inconsistent lighting and makeup – he is pink and perspiring in early scenes, after which his face seems to be cast in shadow. These are not crimes, as less finicky folk may point out, but they reveal a lackadaisical attitude towards the filmmaker’s own product which is bound to be in evidence in the rest of the film too.

And so it is. Irani and Das have personable personalities, good comic timing and the ability to let their hair down on screen. The film’s best scenes are the ones that bring them together and focus entirely on them. Oddly enough, the writers seem not to recognise that they and humour are Santa Banta Pvt Ltd’s USPs and end up spending too much time on a boring plot involving the High Commissioner that gives too much space to everyone and everything else.

Not that the rest of the cast do not deserve to be on camera. As you can see, they are a roll call of some of Hindi cinema’s best comedians. But good actors can do little when the script is so limited, and this one in any case has too little comedy and an abundance of nothingness. 

Take for instance the sub-plot involving the Nepalese gangster. For some reason the man keeps getting phone calls from a voice addressing him as Bahadur and asking him to open the gate. Wit that draws on community stereotypes require high-IQ writing to be effective. This one is unimaginative and irritating and yet is repeated ad nauseam. Besides, if Lever contorts his face and body on screen one more time in his career, I think I might scream. 

With Santa Banta Pvt Ltd, I was too busy keeping myself awake to summon up the energy to do so.

The film’s initial scenes feature the sort of wisecrack that regular Santa-Banta consumers know well. When they squabble over how to split Rs 1,000 between them, one of them suggests that they go 50-50. Okay, says the other, but what about the remaining Rs 900?

It’s the sort of light-hearted nonsense that should have filled the film. There’s simply not enough of it. Every 20 minutes or so, there is one really good, enjoyably silly joke (which proves the writers’ potential for this genre) and then – yawn, yawn, yawn – it is back to the dull grind. Considering that the film runs for about 113 minutes, that adds up to a total of approximately six jokes. Why?

Santa Banta also features too many noisy, unmelodious songs with redemption coming in the form of just one foot-tapping number, Machli Jal Ki Rani Hai sung by Sonu Nigam and Vikas Bhalla, both of whom make guest appearances to sing it.

Former prime minister Manmohan Singh also has a cameo of sorts in Santa Banta Pvt Ltd. Sadly for him, like the government he headed till 2014, there is little he can do to save this film.

Rating (out of five): *1/2

CBFC Rating (India):	UA
Running time:	113 minutes

This review has also been published on Firstpost:

http://www.firstpost.com/bollywood/santa-banta-pvt-ltd-review-needs-more-boman-irani-vir-das-and-less-of-everyone-else-2743738.html

Photograph courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/SantaBantaFilm/

REVIEW 361: DILWALE

Release date:	December 18, 2015
Director:	Rohit Shetty
Cast: Language:	Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol, Varun Dhawan, Kriti Sanon, Varun Sharma, Mukesh Tiwari, Pankaj Tripathi, Sanjay Mishra, Boman Irani, Johnny Lever, Vinod Khanna, Kabir Bedi Hindi

There’s something about age that does wonderful things to people. Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol have always had great on-screen chemistry, but the 22 years that have passed since they were first seen together in a film have added an unfathomable, heart-wrenching element to their pairing. Team Dilwale should send up a prayer of thanks for this saving grace, because this is the first time the two have been called upon to carry a film through on the strength of nothing but – absolutely nothing but – that chemistry.

If you draw a sketch of the basic plot points of Dilwale, you will see the promise there. How the lead pair meet, the misunderstanding that leads to a parting of ways and the seemingly improbable circumstances that reunite them are all believable and potentially entertaining. The problem with the film though is that the threads used to weave these plot elements together are so disparate, so jumbled and so loosely put together, that the result is a bland, lifeless film.

Rohit Shetty, whose previous works could be accused of many things, but never a lack of energy, seems to have fallen asleep – perhaps with boredom? – in the director’s chair while making this film. That is one possible explanation for the lackadaisical nature of the storytelling from a man who in the past has given us Chennai Express and Singham (yeah yeah, I know it’s terribly unintellectual to say so, but I enjoyed both). All those cars careening about the screen cannot compensate for what feels like his own lack of interest in this project.

Dilwale suffers from limp writing and unenthusiastic direction. Even its clichés and stereotypes are too dull to be infuriating – like that distasteful and decidedly unfunny scene in which Johnny Lever pretends he is about to assault Kajol’s character; or the disappointingly medieval mindset which makes the film’s writer think, even in the year 2015, that there can be nothing more terrible than ladkiwaale who want their daamaad to live with them after marriage; or the regressive, populist monologue about the high cost of dating women these days by Varun Sharma’s character, while his girlfriend stands by unquestioningly, clearly never having heard of going Dutch on a date; or Sanjay Mishra’s character who forever spouts nonsensical rhymes in conversations, such as this one addressed to his sister: “Bol mere ghar ki laado, Rolex Rado.”

Hain?

All this fades into insignificance though each time SRK looks at Kajol. Not the clean-shaven, supposedly younger version of Shah Rukh in the film, but the older, wiser, bearded man whose role acknowledges his age with dignity and grace.

When he gazes at her or even just throws her a fleeting glance, and those eyes we’ve been seeing now for almost 27 years brim over with love and longing, tedium recedes into the background. It is a look that makes you want to reach out and hug him, to reassuringly pat him on the shoulder, to tell him that all will be well, to scream out the truth so that she realises that it was all just a misunderstanding.

The return of the Kajol-SRK pairing five years after My Name Is Khan was supposed to be this film’s USP. As it turns, it is the film’s OSP – only selling point.

Shah Rukh in Dilwale plays a gangster in Bulgaria called Raj Randhir Bakshi a.k.a. Kaali. Between shootouts and car chases during the course of his underworld activities, he meets Meera Dev Malik (Kajol) and they fall in love. A tragedy causes them to split up. When the film opens, the story has fast forwarded to the present in Goa where Raj runs a car modification workshop with his younger brother Veer (Varun Dhawan) who, at some point, falls in love with a pretty restaurateur called Ishita (Kriti Sanon). As you can imagine, circumstances cause Meera to return to Raj’s life.

Dilwale’s primary characters are surrounded by a bunch of comedians who are occasionally amusing (Mukesh Tiwari and Pankaj Tripathi are hilarious in a scene in which they try to cover up Raj’s past in the face of Veer’s probing questions) but mostly not.

Varun is sweet but really needs to give that cutesy dialogue delivery a rest. Kriti is given little to do, which is a pity because she has a striking, intelligent screen presence and was perhaps the only one worth watching in Tiger Shroff’s debut film Heropanti.

Even the songs by Pritam are, for the most part, a damp squib. The music director redeems himself though with Gerua (in Arijit Singh & Antara Mitra’s voices) from which Amar Mohile borrows several bars for his background score. Both serve to play up the SRK-Kajol hotness to searing effect.

SRK himself is magnetic and charming as the older Raj. He should seriously consider keeping that beard forever. Kajol is radiant, pretty and, with much less screen time than the hero, effective, though she should seriously consider junking those awkward high heels in future. It also feels sad to see how much she has whitened her skin from what it was when she began her career (he seems to have done likewise, though to a lesser extent).

There is not much in the writing of Dilwale that could help these two recreate the sparks that flew between them in their earlier films, but they do radiate warmth for each other, a warmth that wafts off the screen and floats about the air in a sigh-inducing fashion. Each time Shah Rukh and Kajol are together in a frame, you can almost forgive Dilwale for everything else that it ought to have been but is not.

Rating (out of five): **

CBFC Rating (India):	U/A
Running time:	165 minutes

This review has also been published on firstpost:

http://www.firstpost.com/bollywood/dilwale-review-even-shah-rukh-kajol-chemistry-cannot-save-this-disappointingly-boring-film-2552178.html

Photograph courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/DilwaleTheFilm

REVIEW 282: ENTERTAINMENT

Release date:	August 8, 2014
Director:	Farhad-Sajid
Cast: Language:	Akshay Kumar, Juno The Wonder Dog, Tamannaah Bhatia, Krusna, Mithun Chakraborty, Johnny Lever, Prakash Raj, Sonu Sood, Dalip Tahil, Darshan Zariwala, Guest appearances by Riteish Deshmukh, Shreyas Talpade and Remo D’souza Hindi

Animal biting man’s crotch – check.

Joke about physically challenged person – check.

Character/s rhyming lines – check.

Joke about dark skin – check.

The latest Akshay Kumar-starrer in theatres, Entertainment checks off many of the boxes on the reference list that seems to guide makers of mindless Bollywood comedies these days. It forgot one box though: it forgot to be funny. Take that from a person who enjoys slapstick when it’s well done.

This is not a film that merits deep analysis as would be evident from the storyline. Akshay plays Akhil Lokhande, a poor man in Mumbai who does a zillion odd jobs to pay his father’s hospital bills. He is shocked one day though to discover that that dad is not just a liar, he is also not his real father. The real deal was a billionaire diamond merchant in Bangkok called Pannalal Johri who cheated on his mother. As luck would have it, news of Johri’s death is announced just then and it turns out that the damned fellow has bequeathed his entire fortune to his faithful dog Entertainment. The rest of the film is split into two parts: the first, where Akhil with the help of his friend Jugnu (Krusna) tries to kill the dog so that he can claim his father’s empire; and the second in which Entertainment wins him over with his loyalty and they become best buds battling the film’s true villains, Karan (Prakash Raj) and Arjun (Sonu Sood).

Despite what I said at the start, it’s only fair to clarify that Entertainment is largely inoffensive and shorn of crudity. Although a dog does latch on to Arjun’s penis at one point, and elsewhere Jugnu gets caned in the nether region causing him to clutch that body part in pain, such instances are few and far between. Besides, at no point does Entertainment descend to the level of the yucky semen joke in Kyaa Superkool Hain Hum. Nor is it repugnantly misogynistic like last year’s Grand Masti – thank you Farhad-Sajid for that.

Unfortunately, the film lacks pizzazz. The premise of a man trying to steal a wealthy dog’s fortune has potential for humour, but Entertainment has no dum. The dog-is-a-man’s-best-friend theme too has great emotional possibilities, but that strand lacks heft here. This is surprising because debutant directors Farhad-Sajid have collaborated in the writing of director Rohit Shetty’s Golmaal Returns, Golmaal 3, All The Best, Bol Bachchan, Singham and Chennai Express, and David Dhawan’s Chashme Baddoor. Despite their OTT nature, these were enjoyable films. Not all were mindless either. Yeah yeah, I know some of you assume that every critic hates all Shetty’s and Dhawan’s films. You’re wrong. There are others among you who feel all critics should hate Shetty’s and Dhawan’s films. Well, go ahead – judge me.

In Bol Bachchan Ajay Devgn’s character insisted on speaking English although he clearly knew nothing of the language. “When elder get cosy, younger don’t put nosy” was his version of “don’t poke your nose…” The writers and actor were able to sustain the quirk from start to finish with the former’s inventiveness and the latter’s comic timing. Of course it was silly, but it was digestible silliness perhaps because it’s possible to imagine a man unwittingly murdering a language, even if the portrayal was unabashedly over-the-top. Jugnu’s quirk in Entertainment though requires a stretch of the imagination so Nile-long that it’s tiresome. “I Rajini-can’t believe this,” he says to signify disbelief. Later: “…iski Anupam khair nahin.” (We’ve heard that one before! Yawn!) And then: “Tu aise Pankaj udaas banke math baitth.” Umm. Got it? He’s inserting celeb names into sentences and twisting them to suit his intended meaning. Now imagine being fed this non-stop for 141 minutes! Yawn to the power of 10!

This is a pity because Krusna who plays Jugnu is clearly born to comedy. Akshay briefly shows flashes of the timing that made him fun to watch in Desi Boyz and Singh is Kinng. Those films had taut narratives. This one has weak direction, repetitive writing and insipidity throughout.

Laziness and a disinterest in finesse show up throughout Entertainment. How could the team be so lackadaisical as to pass a spelling mistake in the acknowledgements? “We are greatful to…” Is this what happens when you take your audience for granted? Early on, the dialogue writing confuses “empire” and “umpire”. Choreographer Remo D’souza, in a guest appearance, yells: “Aisi baatein karta hai jaise isne koi bada empire khada kar diya.” Cut to Akhil holding up a finger while umpiring a cricket match. The CGI team too required greater monitoring. The fakeness of those white birds flying over Johri’s mansion could be spotted from a mile even by a technomoron like me. And over-enthusiasm in colour correction has led to mansion grounds with glaringly faux-green lawns and other unreally bright shades.

Even the songs by the otherwise reliable Sachin-Jigar are unimaginatively composed and filmed. They aren’t bad, just generic. The most appealing of the tunes and scenarios – Teri mahima aprampaar featuring Karan-Arjun wooing the same woman – is a poor cousin of the triangular Kiya kiya with Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor and Mallika Sherawat in Welcome. And is it mandatory for Akshay to whack a woman’s bottom in a group dance in every one of his movies?

There have been other films about compelling human-animal relationships. My favourite from recent years is the Jennifer Aniston-Owen Wilson-starrer Marley and Me. Entertainment fails to tap into the ocean of feelings such bonds can stir up. It doesn’t deserve better than to be dismissed with clichés such as, “My work requires me to review Entertainment – it’s a dog’s life” and “Entertainment lacks entertainment”. What else does one say of a film that makes Humshakals seem like it had substance and Kick seem cerebral in comparison? Nothing, I guess.

Footnote: Tamannaah Bhatia is the ‘heroine’ of the film. The character could have been played by any other woman and it would not have made an inch of a difference. That’s how marginal the woman is to the proceedings in this film.

Rating (out of five stars): 1/2

CBFC Rating (India):	U/A
Running time:	141 minutes

Photograph courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/ItsEntertainmentthefilm