August 11, 2017
Balu Varghese, Honey Rose, Dharmajan Bolgatty, Vishak Nair, Ganapathi S. Poduvel, Lal, Siddique, Mareena Michael, Remya Panickar, Hareesh Perumanna
There were once four boyzz from Kerala
Who pretended ee life-il oru care illa
But deep down inside
They all wanted a bride
And they mourned because, y’know, penn illa.
Now these boyzz treated women like shit
As sub-humans on whom men should spit
They leered at their teacher
They were that kind of creature
I swear I can’t stand them one bit.
So these boyzz lolled about ogling girlzz
Then along came a gay girl with curlzz
She ignored all the boyzz
Did not fall for their ployzz
Or so it seems as this story unfurlzz.
One day she and the boyzz climb a wall
To scale which she seeks help, that is all
One boy pushes up her bum
He is that kind of scum
’Tis behaviour that made my skin crawl.
The hero is a chap called Romario
Who behaves like he’s some sort of Lothario
But he’zz playing a part
To mask a desperate heart
All Romario wantzz is to marry-o.
On a Goa trip with Riya from college
He peepzz into her loo without her knowledge
He leerzz at the lady
I tell ya he’s shady
’Tis a fact we had better acknowledge.
He tellzz us he wants to see Riya’s “kuntham”
Yes, the creep will not even say “vaginum”
He first triezz to bed her
Then he getzz to wed her
Next we learn it was all a sick stratagem.
Now remember that gay girl called Sherin?
The one I mentioned right at the beginnin’?
Sherin’s part of his plot
But I don’t care a dot
Cos this film clearly looks down on women.
These fellowzz treat women like dirt
Meant for three things: marry, screw or flirt
Yet they so badly want
A pretty wife to flaunt
But respecting that wife, I guess, would hurt.
It is clear here that women are objects of hate
Why do these boyzz long to wed women or date?
As property to claim?
As scapegoats to blame?
Ask questions, dear viewers, it’s still not too late.
Now you may say: “Who cares for this critic?’
“She’s just too much of a bloody damned cynic”
Well don’t care for me
That’s not the point, you see
We must shame starzz like Perumanna, Lal and Siddique.
Dear leads Varghese, Nair, Bolgatty and Poduvel
Can you tell us when better sense will prevail?
You are good with comedy
But you pick this travesty
How much further will you lower your level?
Honey and Mareena, where goes your self-respect?
Is this not a film any thinking woman ought to reject?
You are artistes, not meat
Not a hungry man’s treat
You okayed this script, knowing what to expect?
This film Chunkzz thinks it is oh so cool
In the way it showzz how these men drool
At those thingies called women
That they don’t see as human
Chunkzz is not even worth our ridicule.
What this film deserves is our utter contempt
From our judgement, it should not be exempt
When we tolerate these blokezz
And laugh at their jokezz
We give such men in the real world consent.
If Chunkzz mocked religious folk instead of women
Netas would wail, cops would put Omar in prison
That is not my demand
I, a viewer, reprimand
Ugly humour that treats women as sub-human.
Rating (out of five stars): none (I refuse to rate this film)
CBFC Rating (India):
This review has also been published on Firstpost:
Poster courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/MovieChunkzz/