REVIEW 591: NANU KI JAANU

Release date:	April 20, 2018
Director:	Faraz Haider
Cast: Language:	Abhay Deol, Patralekhaa, Rajesh Sharma, Manu Rishi Chadha, Himani Shivpuri, Brijendra Kala Hindi

Although Abhay Deol is the leading man of Nanu Ki Jaanu (Nanu’s Beloved), the film belongs, in my ’umble opinion, to Rajesh Sharma. In what appears to be subliminal messaging snuck in by this brilliant character artiste, in a scene towards the end where he is supposed to be weeping, he turns his head gently sideways and gives the impression that he is masking a laugh. Whether or not this was his intention, it feels like an encrypted note aimed at the viewer, with Sharma’s expression seeming to say: I cannot believe I am actually working on this bizarre nonsense AND you dunces are watching it!

The other two actors in this scene, Deol and Patralekhaa, on the other hand, try to look invested in the film till it takes its last gasping, rasping breath. It is tempting to ask why they bothered at all, but the truth is, I can see what they might have spotted in the project’s concept.

Nanu Ki Jaanu is a remake of the 2014 Tamil hit Pisaasu (Devil). Although the original is not named in this one’s credits, its producer Bala and director Mysskin are listed in the acknowledgements, and the story is credited to Mysskin. I have not seen Pisaasu, but from the trailer and reviews it comes across as a somber horror flick that Faraz Haider decided to turn into a horror comedy for Hindi audiences.

The idea is not bad at all – since rationalists brush aside the possibility that ghosts exist, it makes sense to make a film that pokes fun at those who believe in spooks. And frankly, sizeable parts of Nanu Ki Jaanu’s middle portion are quite uproarious. When viewed from start to finish though, the kindest thing that can be said about it is that it is uneven.

Haider’s introduction hints at a film that is vastly different from what it turns out to be. The director also fails to make a credible transition from the humorous passages to the grave latter part. And the end is maudlin to the point of being embarrassingly silly.

In the opening moments, Nanu (Deol) and his gang barge into the house of an elderly gentleman, and threaten him into signing a flat’s ownership over to them for a pittance. The scene is trying too hard to be amusing, but is not.

Cue: change in tone: shabby ‘item’ song.

Cue: change in tone: Nanu is driving down a main road when he stops to take a call on his cellphone and sees a crowd running towards a woman (Patralekhaa) lying bleeding on the ground, her scooter beside her. Since no one else does anything but stare, Nanu rushes her to a hospital where she dies on arrival, her hand in his as life ebbs out of her body.

The episode leaves the ruffian shaken and, much to his gang’s dismay, too soft to lead them through the house-grabbing assignments that follow. What comes next is a bunch of laughs interspersed smoothly with scares as we try to figure out with Nanu & Co whether he is genuinely suffering from a psychological problem or the ghost of the dead girl is actually haunting his Noida flat.

Just as it seems like Nanu Ki Jaanu might add up to something after all… Cue: change in tone: love angle.

Cue: change in tone: messages.

Cue: change in tone: lively song with end credits.

The middle bits are fun. The scene involving the redoubtable Manu Rishi Chadha’s character Dabbu trying to scare off the spook is a scream. Chadha brings to that very long segment all the comical depth that made Hindi film-goers sit up and take notice of him in Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! (2008) and Phas Gaye Re Obama (2010). (Note: he is also this film’s screenplay and dialogue writer.)

Haider’s direction is too ham-fisted to make optimum use of his talented cast though, making Nanu Ki Jaanu a bumpy ride, until it gets to its it’s-so-bad-that-it-is-good finale.

Deol, who started off with such promise in films like Socha Na Tha (2005) and Oye Lucky, has featured in very few good projects since then. The beguiling innocence he brought to those early works and the finesse of his performance in the more recent Shanghai (2012), is proof enough that he cannot be written off. His performance in Nanu Ki Jaanu is uninspired though.

Patralekhaa, who shone in Hansal Mehta’s Citylights (2014), has almost nothing to do in this film. Sharma seems to give up part way through it. Only Chadha crackles till the end. 

Parts of Nanu Ki Jaanu feel as if the production team stopped bothering with it. If you have spent money on making a film, how much would it cost you to throw some extras into a hospital scene? Or to consult grammar experts before flashing “After Few Days” and “After Few Week” on screen to indicate the passing of time?

And oh ya, Messrs Haider and Chadha, if you want to pack in messaging about beef terrorism, speaking on cellphones while driving and helmets for two-wheeler drivers, please do not make it all sound so contrived. Granted though that the point about domestic violence is well – and subtly – made.

The crux of this entire affair is that Nanu Ki Jaanu is unsure of what it wants to be, the team lacks the ability to make it everything they want it to be, and the film therefore ends up flailing its arms all over the place. It is scary in a few parts and funny in more, which is why it is so sad that in the overall assessment and especially in its finale, it turns out to be such a loosely handled, low-IQ mess.

Rating (out of five stars): *

CBFC Rating (India):	UA
Running time:	133 minutes

A version of this review has also been published on Firstpost:

https://www.firstpost.com/entertainment/bollywood/nanu-ki-jaanu-movie-review-abhay-deol-is-uninspired-at-best-in-this-loosely-handled-low-iq-mess-4439207.html

Poster courtesy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanu_Ki_Jaanu

REVIEW 238: MR JOE B. CARVALHO

Release date:	January 3, 2014
Director:	Samir Tewari
Cast: Language:	Arshad Warsi, Soha Ali Khan, Himani Shivpuri, Vijay Raaz, Jaaved Jaaferi, Shakti Kapoor, Ranjeet, Inexplicable guest appearance by Kunal Khemu Hindi

“Maut, potty aur Carlos kahi bhi, kabhi bhi aa sakte hai” is the line with which we are introduced to the primary villain in director Samir Tewari’s Mr Joe B. Carvalho. Hmm okay, so perhaps this unintended ode to incontinence will lead us to a child-oriented, juvenile, farts-and-faeces comedy, you think? Then the title comes to mind and the worry surfaces that this will turn out to be Grand Masti-style, adult-oriented juvenile torture, with the words “jo bhi karva lo” – a play on “Joe B. Carvalho” – being repeated ad nauseam just like the names of GM’s three leading ladies, Rose, Mary and Marlo were said repeatedly in precisely that order, without the conjunction, to play on the resemblance to “roz meri maar lo” (actually, Joe B. Carvalho is much cleverer because it’s a real name whereas Marlo is not).

As it turns out, Mr Joe B. Carvalho is neither A material all the way, nor PG or G. Whatever Grand Masti’s faults may have been, it has to be said that it knew where it was headed and it stuck to its guns all the way. Joe, on the other hand, is unable to hold up in any particular direction. It could have been a foolish yet fun farce filled with unrelenting nonsense. At places it is actually quite ridiculously, stupidly riotous. Unfortunately, those places are so few and far between that most of the film is a desperately-trying-to-be-funny yawn.

Sample this scene in which a certain Khurana (Shakti Kapoor) calls Carvalho over to his house for a chat. Carvalho is a detective by profession. Says Khurana: “Mere paas tumhare liye ek case hai.” Carvalho: “Briefcase?” Khurana: “Nahin, brief nahin, kaafi bada hai.”

There really isn’t any potty talk beyond the line I quoted at the start of this review. No adult jokes either, except a couple of limp gags involving a fireworks factory owner played by the old-time villain Ranjeet wearing pink pants and trying to make a pass at Carvalho.

Despite the short shrift they often get from critics, the truth is that an effective nonsensical comedy is not easy to write or direct. In Mr Joe B. Carvalho, the writing is too inconsistent, the direction too weak and the acting too lacklustre for it to add up to anything much.

This is a pity because Arshad Warsi is just the kind of actor who has the ability to pull off a line as silly as, “Tumhara pyaar ek underwear ki tarah nikla, jiska elastic ek na ek din dheela padh jaata hai,” which explains why he delivers most of the film’s occasional laughs. Vijay Raaz – another great comedian – is given little to do in this film, but still manages one killer drunken scene where he whirls around a room like a dervish. Their co-star Soha Ali Khan though seems too stiff-necked for comedy. And the rest of the cast are a drag. As is the story.

It’s a measure of how poor the writing is that I can’t clearly remember what that story is. I figured that Carvalho (Warsi) is a mediocre, Bengaluru-based jaasoos who was dumped by his girlfriend Shantipriya Phadnis (Khan). Carvalho stays with his Mummy (Himani Shivpuri) who is blind and has a massive bum, both of which are meant to be sources of humour. Somewhere in the middle of this muddle is a black-skinned chap called General Kopa Bhalerao Kabana who is Bollywood’s idea of ‘African’. He’s angry with a woman because he thought she was in love with him though she was not. He calls a meeting of several gangsters to tell them he’s not hiring them. Instead, he’s hiring a fellow in drag called Carlos (Jaaved Jaaferi), he of the potty-flavoured dialogue. And then for some reason everybody seems to be trying to kill everybody else, though I can’t for the life of me remember why.

Elsewhere, Shantipriya puts on a blue bikini. Like comedy, sexiness too is not Ms Khan’s strength. In a nightclub she dances to a song that goes, “Par late night party mein, I hate chumma chaati”, which might have been amusing coming from a more unrestrained comedian. Unfortunately, she’s not the actor for it.

From the lead couple’s relationship emerges an unintended piece of wit: in a conversation between the two, he specifies that she is three years his junior. Ahem! The Internet informs me that the two actors are 10 years apart in age, but more to the point, the wonderfully talented Mr Warsi looks unmistakably like a senior citizen in comparison with the wisp of a girl that Ms Khan appears to be. This would have mattered less if there was a spark between them. Sadly, there is not.  

The best actors in the world need solid written material to help them shine. Warsi has had the Munnabhai films and just last year, Jolly LLB; Raaz had Monsoon Wedding and in 2012, Delhi Belly. Fortunately then, we’ve seen them at their best. Unfortunately, that means we know they’re short-changing themselves with sub-par films like this one. 

Slapstick jokes need not be logical, but they must be built around a slightly coherent storyline; and the humour must sustain itself. This film does neither. You see, unlike “maut, potty aur Carlos”, humour aur hansi kahi bhi nahin aa sakte hai; uske liye good writing ki zaroorat hai.

Rating (out of five): * (3/4th star for Warsi, 1/4th for Raaz, everything else deserves 0)

CBFC Rating (India):	U/A
Running time:	130 minutes

Poster courtesy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Joe_B._Carvalho

REVIEW 116: NA JAANE KABSE

Release date:	November 18, 2011
Director:	Pammi Somal
Cast:	Garry Gill, Amrita Prakash, Sharat Saxena, Lillette Dubey, Ayub Khan, Gurpreet Ghuggi, Himani Shivpuri, Anju Mahendroo

In her second film Na Jaane Kabse, producer-director-writer Pammi Somal carries forward the style she established in her debut release Mummy Punjabi this year. So yes, the film has a certain polish that comes from lovely outdoor locations well shot. But the production issues on other fronts, the poorly developed script, the abundance of cliches about plain Janes and Punjabis, the leading man, the sub-standard dialogues and the veterans in the supporting cast who unabashedly over-act all add up to a film that is really tough to endure.

The story is of Karan whose bride leaves him on his wedding day. He runs off to escape her furious family who are under the impression that he is the one who ditched her, and not vice versa. On the road, he takes a lift from Anjali In Thick Glasses And An Unstylish Outfit. Since the hero repeatedly taunts her for her oily hair, I have to believe him though I couldn’t see any grease. Anyway, it turns out that Karan’s business partner is expecting him to return with a bride since the plan is to promote their new holiday resort as a place so romantic that the owner himself decided to spend his honeymoon there. The international press is waiting! Now what is a man to do?! Well of course he asks Anjali to play his pretend wife. And that’s how their relationship begins.

There’s so much about Na Jaane Kabse that made me cringe, I don’t know where to start. Okay, let’s begin at the very beginning:

• Pammi Somal really needs to rid herself of this penchant to use cue cards to introduce her characters while flashing text and thought bubbles on screen that are meant to be cute. They are decidedly not. Karan’s introductory shot is accompanied by the words “bechara complexed (sic) Karan”. For Anjali the words are, “confused but confident Anjali”. And the interval is announced with the words “Hai Rabba, problem shuru.”
• Lillette Dubey (who plays Karan’s professional associate in this film) is superbly fit and trim for her age, but I wish she would stop accepting roles where she’s projected as this older hottie. It’s become trite and it’s beginning to feel rather ageist now. Likewise, why oh why did Himani Shivpuri debase herself by playing a cheesy middle-aged seductress?
• Since a large number of Hindi film makers are Punjabis, we’ve been well acquainted with Punjabi culture over the years via Bollywood. But that doesn’t mean the stereotype of the loud, brash, crude Punjabi can’t be grating when over-done and over-used. A boisterous character introducing himself to strangers as “Balwant Singh from Punjab” made me squirm in my seat.
• Seriously, there’s nothing more uncool than a person trying to be cool. At one point a character uses the acronym BKBBG to signify “bartender ki biwi bhaag gayee”. Uff!
• And could we please rise above schoolboy humour and toilet jokes? I mean, there’s nothing funny about Anjali’s dad getting loosies!!! Grow up!

I could go on and on. Characters randomly walk in and out of this film. I think I even detected a guest appearance by Ayesha Jhulka, though I don’t know if it can be called that since the actress suddenly appears, vigorously dances to a song, and then just as suddenly disappears from the scene. Most of all I’m keen to share with you a very serious worry. When Na Jaane Kabse ends, the screen screams these words at us: This is just the beginning. Does this mean there will be a Na Jaane Kabse 2? Hai Rabba, problem shuru!

Rating (out of five): 1/4 (a quarter star for the camerawork at beautiful locations in Ladakh & Punjab)

CBFC Rating:                       U

Language:                             Hindi

Photograph courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/NaJaaneKabse