REVIEW 282: ENTERTAINMENT

Release date:	August 8, 2014
Director:	Farhad-Sajid
Cast: Language:	Akshay Kumar, Juno The Wonder Dog, Tamannaah Bhatia, Krusna, Mithun Chakraborty, Johnny Lever, Prakash Raj, Sonu Sood, Dalip Tahil, Darshan Zariwala, Guest appearances by Riteish Deshmukh, Shreyas Talpade and Remo D’souza Hindi

Animal biting man’s crotch – check.

Joke about physically challenged person – check.

Character/s rhyming lines – check.

Joke about dark skin – check.

The latest Akshay Kumar-starrer in theatres, Entertainment checks off many of the boxes on the reference list that seems to guide makers of mindless Bollywood comedies these days. It forgot one box though: it forgot to be funny. Take that from a person who enjoys slapstick when it’s well done.

This is not a film that merits deep analysis as would be evident from the storyline. Akshay plays Akhil Lokhande, a poor man in Mumbai who does a zillion odd jobs to pay his father’s hospital bills. He is shocked one day though to discover that that dad is not just a liar, he is also not his real father. The real deal was a billionaire diamond merchant in Bangkok called Pannalal Johri who cheated on his mother. As luck would have it, news of Johri’s death is announced just then and it turns out that the damned fellow has bequeathed his entire fortune to his faithful dog Entertainment. The rest of the film is split into two parts: the first, where Akhil with the help of his friend Jugnu (Krusna) tries to kill the dog so that he can claim his father’s empire; and the second in which Entertainment wins him over with his loyalty and they become best buds battling the film’s true villains, Karan (Prakash Raj) and Arjun (Sonu Sood).

Despite what I said at the start, it’s only fair to clarify that Entertainment is largely inoffensive and shorn of crudity. Although a dog does latch on to Arjun’s penis at one point, and elsewhere Jugnu gets caned in the nether region causing him to clutch that body part in pain, such instances are few and far between. Besides, at no point does Entertainment descend to the level of the yucky semen joke in Kyaa Superkool Hain Hum. Nor is it repugnantly misogynistic like last year’s Grand Masti – thank you Farhad-Sajid for that.

Unfortunately, the film lacks pizzazz. The premise of a man trying to steal a wealthy dog’s fortune has potential for humour, but Entertainment has no dum. The dog-is-a-man’s-best-friend theme too has great emotional possibilities, but that strand lacks heft here. This is surprising because debutant directors Farhad-Sajid have collaborated in the writing of director Rohit Shetty’s Golmaal Returns, Golmaal 3, All The Best, Bol Bachchan, Singham and Chennai Express, and David Dhawan’s Chashme Baddoor. Despite their OTT nature, these were enjoyable films. Not all were mindless either. Yeah yeah, I know some of you assume that every critic hates all Shetty’s and Dhawan’s films. You’re wrong. There are others among you who feel all critics should hate Shetty’s and Dhawan’s films. Well, go ahead – judge me.

In Bol Bachchan Ajay Devgn’s character insisted on speaking English although he clearly knew nothing of the language. “When elder get cosy, younger don’t put nosy” was his version of “don’t poke your nose…” The writers and actor were able to sustain the quirk from start to finish with the former’s inventiveness and the latter’s comic timing. Of course it was silly, but it was digestible silliness perhaps because it’s possible to imagine a man unwittingly murdering a language, even if the portrayal was unabashedly over-the-top. Jugnu’s quirk in Entertainment though requires a stretch of the imagination so Nile-long that it’s tiresome. “I Rajini-can’t believe this,” he says to signify disbelief. Later: “…iski Anupam khair nahin.” (We’ve heard that one before! Yawn!) And then: “Tu aise Pankaj udaas banke math baitth.” Umm. Got it? He’s inserting celeb names into sentences and twisting them to suit his intended meaning. Now imagine being fed this non-stop for 141 minutes! Yawn to the power of 10!

This is a pity because Krusna who plays Jugnu is clearly born to comedy. Akshay briefly shows flashes of the timing that made him fun to watch in Desi Boyz and Singh is Kinng. Those films had taut narratives. This one has weak direction, repetitive writing and insipidity throughout.

Laziness and a disinterest in finesse show up throughout Entertainment. How could the team be so lackadaisical as to pass a spelling mistake in the acknowledgements? “We are greatful to…” Is this what happens when you take your audience for granted? Early on, the dialogue writing confuses “empire” and “umpire”. Choreographer Remo D’souza, in a guest appearance, yells: “Aisi baatein karta hai jaise isne koi bada empire khada kar diya.” Cut to Akhil holding up a finger while umpiring a cricket match. The CGI team too required greater monitoring. The fakeness of those white birds flying over Johri’s mansion could be spotted from a mile even by a technomoron like me. And over-enthusiasm in colour correction has led to mansion grounds with glaringly faux-green lawns and other unreally bright shades.

Even the songs by the otherwise reliable Sachin-Jigar are unimaginatively composed and filmed. They aren’t bad, just generic. The most appealing of the tunes and scenarios – Teri mahima aprampaar featuring Karan-Arjun wooing the same woman – is a poor cousin of the triangular Kiya kiya with Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor and Mallika Sherawat in Welcome. And is it mandatory for Akshay to whack a woman’s bottom in a group dance in every one of his movies?

There have been other films about compelling human-animal relationships. My favourite from recent years is the Jennifer Aniston-Owen Wilson-starrer Marley and Me. Entertainment fails to tap into the ocean of feelings such bonds can stir up. It doesn’t deserve better than to be dismissed with clichés such as, “My work requires me to review Entertainment – it’s a dog’s life” and “Entertainment lacks entertainment”. What else does one say of a film that makes Humshakals seem like it had substance and Kick seem cerebral in comparison? Nothing, I guess.

Footnote: Tamannaah Bhatia is the ‘heroine’ of the film. The character could have been played by any other woman and it would not have made an inch of a difference. That’s how marginal the woman is to the proceedings in this film.

Rating (out of five stars): 1/2

CBFC Rating (India):	U/A
Running time:	141 minutes

Photograph courtesy: https://www.facebook.com/ItsEntertainmentthefilm

REVIEW 280: KICK

Release date:	July 25, 2014
Director:	Sajid Nadiadwala
Cast: Language:	Salman Khan, Randeep Hooda, Jacqueline Fernandez, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Mithun Chakraborty, Vipin Sharma, Archana Puran Singh, Saurabh Shukla Hindi

A man and woman on a train journey are exchanging notes about that one grand obsession in their lives. She is Shaina Mehra (Jacqueline Fernandez), daughter of the Indian ambassador to Poland. He is Himanshu Tyagi (Randeep Hooda), a top Indian policeman. Shaina tells him about her ex-boyfriend Devi Lal Singh back in Delhi, an altruistic fellow who was forever placing himself in precarious situations to get an adrenaline rush (he calls it “kick”, hence the film’s title). Since he was unable to stick to any job, her father assumed that he would gladly be a ghar jamaai. Whaaaaatttttt?!!!! I tell ya, the audacity of the man! Since there can be no greater affront to a Bollywood hero’s ego – as we all know – this GJ business ultimately tears the couple apart.

Himanshu in turn tells Shaina about the one criminal he has failed to nab so far – a gravity-defying, logic-busting, masked thief whose face no one has ever seen. He calls himself Devil. Of course they’re both talking about the same man, played by Salman Khan. Don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler: they don’t know, but we the viewers are in on the secret from the start.

Producer Sajid Nadiadwala’s debut film as director, Kick is devoted to dual threads: the crests and troughs of Devi’s romance with Shaina, and Himanshu’s cross-continental chase of Devil. That the two stories will intersect at some point is evident from the word go.

Kick is a glossy, overtly expensive film shot in India and abroad with sumptuous sets and expansive cinematography. Although Ahmed Khan’s choreography for the women (Jacqueline and cameo girl Nargis Fakhri) is graceless, he has given Salman some interesting moves. The intermittent humour in the screenplay steers clear of farts, poop and pee, which is more than can be said of most big Bollywood comedies these days. Besides, although it has been designed as an ode to its leading man replete with references to his hits, it is less irritatingly in-your-face with the Salman worship than many of the star’s recent films.

Big mistake though: Sajid surrounds his hero with supporting actors so vastly superior to him in various ways, that they show him up for what he is: a cute guy with a charming screen presence who milks the cuteness and charm to camouflage his limited acting.

Mistake #1: casting Nawazuddin Siddiqui as Devil’s bête noir. The eccentric Shiv Gajra in Kick is the least nuanced character this marvelous actor has played so far. Yet, Nawaz shows flashes of brilliance even here. The merit in his performance becomes glaring when Devil/Salman mimics Shiv’s quirks, and falls flat in the attempt.

Mistake #2: casting Randeep Hooda as Himanshu. Randeep is an underrated actor who is his usual, quietly effective self in Kick, but that’s not the point here. His presence in this film serves to highlight the fact that Salman is no longer the lithe action hero he once was. This Khan has always had the body and distinctive walk of a body-builder – I get that. But from Ek Tha Tiger onwards, he has been looking increasingly tubby and sluggish. Watching one particular low-angle shot of him negotiate the edge of a wall of a high-rise building is a sad reminder of this. So too is the sight of him next to Randeep’s slim yet muscular frame sans the endearing Salman-deprecating humour of Dabangg’s screenplay that revelled in the physical differences between Chulbul Pandey (Salman) and Chhedi Singh (played by the towering Sonu Sood). It doesn’t help that a light-footed Hrithik Roshan as another masked hero is still so fresh in our memories.

Mistake #3: Vipin Sharma playing India’s Home Minister and Sanjay Mishra as the low-ranking policeman Ramaavtar Rathi pull off comedy with greater panache in their brief appearances in Kick, than Salman manages with the zillion lines he gets in the entire film.

The film’s gender politics is steeped in hypocrisy. In one scene, Devi bashes up a bunch of guys who were harassing women at a restaurant and lectures the indifferent onlookers. This comes just seconds after he was himself harassing Shaina in that very restaurant despite her professed disinterest. Then in that thoroughly enjoyable song Jumme ki raat hai (the stand-out number in an otherwise lacklustre soundtrack), Devi lifts an unsuspecting Shaina’s skirt by his teeth and follows her, surrounded by a troupe of male dancers. In the same song, she takes off her overcoat and gyrates every single part of her body in a tiny tight dress, while he watches in open-mouthed wonderment. In the very next shot he protectively covers up her body with her coat. Guess he just remembered those audience members who were moved by his earlier ma-behen speech?

To be fair, there are several scenes in which the humour hits home and the action is cool (one involves Devil on a bike with a speeding train approaching him). For the most part though, Kick feels stale. In places, the writing is so sub-standard that it’s a wonder such lines were released for public consumption. Topping the list is the repeated, tacky use of the word “kick” in dialogues to justify the contrived title. The characterisation of Devi’s mother (over-acted by Archana Puran Singh) is unimaginative and unoriginal. How many times will we be served loud, crude melodramatic North Indian moms before the cliché is laid to rest? As Devi’s dad, Mithun Chakraborty delivers an OTT performance of an unfunny, OTT character.

Kick is a remake of a Telugu film of the same name, with a screenplay adapted for Bollywood by Nadiadwala, Rajat Aroraa and bestselling author Chetan Bhagat. The result of Bhagat’s earlier screenplay collaboration was Kai Po Che, a film that is head and shoulders, eyebrows and forehead above this one in terms of finesse and novelty. This is not to say that Kick can be completely written off. It’s way better than the recent Salman-starrer Jai Ho. But considering the dullness of Jai Ho and how repetitive Salman has been since the highly entertaining Dabangg in 2010, that still just makes Kick an average film with sporadic humour and little that’s new.

Rating (out of five stars): **

Footnote: Believe it or not, Salman plays a 40-year-old in Kick. Devi laughingly claims that he is 10 since his birthday comes once every four years (he was born on February 29 in a leap year). As every Bollywood buff knows, for a 48-year-old male star to play a 40-year-old character, and not a 20-/30-something, is unusual and progressive. Next step hopefully: 48-year-old men who do not insist on starring opposite girls two decades their junior?

CBFC Rating (India):	UA
Running time:	147 minutes

Photograph courtesy: Everymedia PR 

REVIEW 259: KAANCHI

Release date:	April 25, 2014
Director:	Subhash Ghai
Cast: Language:	Mishti, Kartik Aaryan, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Rishabh Sinha, Mithun Chakraborty, Rishi Kapoor, Adil Hussain Hindi

It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a Subhash Ghai film. As a film reviewer though, it’s my job to be an eternal optimist, and I can vouch for the fact that that professional optimism often pays off. Not in this case though. Kaanchi – the story of a mountain girl who travels to Mumbai to avenge a loved one’s murder – is as insipid and insubstantial as all the films Ghai has been directing since Taal in 1999 (not counting the unfortunately unheralded Black & White in 2008). Truth be told, I’m not in love with Taal either but it was light years ahead of most of the films he’s been making since then; besides, it had Aishwarya Rai’s beauty, some lovely music and the fire ‘n’ ice of Anil Kapoor going for it. Kaanchi has, to use an acronym that’s popular these days, NOTA (none of the above).

The first half of the film is set in Koshampa, an idyllic village in Uttaranchal primarily inhabited by the families of retired or martyred defence services personnel. Among them are the firebrand Kaanchi a.k.a. Sigri (Mishti) and Binda (Kartik Aaryan), childhood friends destined for marriage. The powerful Kakda industrial family of Mumbai is eyeing their prized lands to set up a resort. Their artist son Sushant, meanwhile, falls for Kaanchi, which inevitably leads to a clash with the girl, and Binda.

Koshampa is beautiful as is newcomer Indrani Chakraborty who was assigned the screen name Mishti by Ghai, in keeping with his obsession with the letter M (after his success with Madhuri Dixit and Manisha Koirala, he re-christened veejay Ritu Chaudhry as Mahima Chaudhry for her Bollywood debut in Pardes). Mishti earlier played Prosenjit’s daughter in the Bengali film Porichoi. Kaanchi is her Bollywood debut.

Ghai knows how to highlight a woman’s loveliness. Mishti though does not yet have that X factor that put Madhuri and Manisha on the road to stardom. Some stars acquire charisma with age, so it’s only fair to give Mishti another chance, considering that here she is saddled with Ghai’s unimaginative writing, particularly the silliness of the ease with which Kaanchi brings down the Kakda family.

The problem with this film is that it’s full of itself, so impressed with its own camerawork, its national canvas and its director’s filmography. The presence of veterans Mithun Chakraborty and Rishi Kapoor as the Kakda brothers can do little to salvage Kaanchi. Kartik Aaryan who was impressive in 2011’s sleeper hit Pyaar ka Punchnama and even in last year’s lachrymose Akaash Vani, is fair enough in the acting department in Kaanchi, but he needs to be told that those body-baring ganjis just don’t suit his boyish face. Playing his bête noir Sushant Kakda is TV star Rishabh Sinha, an attractive guy who needs to work on his acting.

The only member of the cast who occasionally rises above Kaanchi’s lackadaisical script and direction is Chandan Roy Sanyal playing the heroine’s childhood friend who is now a corrupt cop in Mumbai. However, getting his character to narrate the story in flashback, and build up the girl into some sort of mythical character only further underlines the fact that this is a desperately ambitious film that does not get anywhere close to its grand ambitions.

Music used to be one of the strengths of Ghai’s films in the 1970s-90s, when he ruled the box office. Remember the memorable soundtrack of Karz or the success of Choli ke peechhe from Khalnayak? But even that department is a let-down here. Ismail Darbar and Salim Sulaiman have rolled out an uninspiring score for Kaanchi.

Nothing underlines the tragedy of the film more than the fact that Ghai thought it worth his while to feature Mahima Chaudhry in a guest appearance in one of Kaanchi’s lavish song and dance numbers. Guest appearances are meant to be pleasant surprises. Mahima just about made an impact in Pardes. Even back then it was hard to understand why Ghai was so taken in by her. How out of touch must he be with reality to think that her few-seconds-long appearance in this film, almost 17 years later, could generate an iota of excitement among the audience?

It’s always sad to watch the decline of a once successful artiste. Sadder still to write this review. There is just one word to describe Kaanchi: boring.

Rating (out of five stars): *

CBFC Rating (India):	U/A
Running time:	151 minutes

Poster and trailers courtesy: Everymedia PR

First look trailer: http://bit.ly/Kaanchi-Trailer                     

Video of Tu Sab Kuch Re: http://bit.ly/TuSabKuchRe-Kaanchi

Video of Thumka: http://bit.ly/Thumka

Video of Hindustan Kahan Hai: http://bit.ly/HindustanKahanHai-Kaanchi

Dialogue promos:

http://bit.ly/WohEkLadkiHai, http://bit.ly/AajKiRaajneeti, http://bit.ly/TuneMujheKissKiya, http://bit.ly/DilHilJataHai

Related Link: 

Subhash Ghai interview by Anna MM Vetticad / Maxim magazine / November 2013 http://annavetticadgoes2themovies.blogspot.in/2014/04/sit-down-with-subhash-ghai-interview.html