REVIEW 94: TELL ME O KKHUDA

Release date:	October 27, 2011
Director:	Hema Malini
Cast:	Esha Deol, Arjan Bajwa, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Vinod Khanna, Madhoo, Rishi Kapoor, Meltem Cumbul, Dharmendra, Hema Malini

It breaks my heart to write this review … because I’m a softie when it comes to veteran stars, and as you know, this film stars the legendary Dharmendra, Hema Malini, Rishi Kapoor and Vinod Khanna! But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! Sigh!

Tell Me O Kkhuda feels like a mother’s offering of love to her offspring, an affectionate effort by Hema Malini to resurrect the career of her daughter Esha Deol. But somewhere between an uninspiring script and a mid-stream switch in directors, it actually does more harm than good to  Esha, who’s a reasonably good actress but has just not managed to make it in Bollywood in the nine years since she made her debut with Koi Mere Dil Se Poochhe.

In TMOK, Ms Deol plays a happy-go-lucky young bestselling author called Tanya who chances upon evidence one day that she’s adopted. She loves her mother and father (played by the always quietly dignified Farooque Shaikh and Deepti Naval) but feels compelled to discover her biological parents. The task, however, is tough because the records of her birth were destroyed in a hospital fire, and the lazy record-keeper casually points her in the direction of three possible sets of parents.

Sounds promising? But after an interesting start, there’s a markedly unenergetic feel to the film which fails to live up to the potential of its basic concept and evident budget. Producer Hema Malini – who dropped director Mayur Puri and took over the reins part way through the shoot – seems to have a fascination for girls in search of their parental roots. Her earlier directorial venture Dil Aashna Hai (1992) starred Divya Bharati who was out to find her mother from a choice of three women, with the help of a friend played by Shah Rukh Khan. In TMOK, there are two friends helping Esha instead. And in place of the daughter’s search for her mother in Dil Aashna Hai, here Esha is on a quest for both her parents.

The locations are pretty (Rajasthan’s Pratapgarh, Kas in Turkey, and finally Goa) BUT the cinematography does not entirely do justice to them. The storyline has promise BUT the treatment does not give it the emotional appeal it could have had. The cast is talented BUT their overall impact is unsatisfactory. Dharmendra, Rishi Kapoor and Vinod Khanna are capable of so much on a good day. They’re joined by the beautiful award-winning Turkish actress Meltem Cumbul playing Kapoor’s wife. BUT no actor is better than the written material on which they’re basing their performances, and the script of TMOK is decidedly lacklustre. Esha’s friends are played by Arjan Bajwa – the handsome and talented model who you will remember from his role as Priyanka Chopra’s boyfriend in Fashion – and Kaminey and Faltu’s memorable Chandan Roy Sanyal BUT both are given short shrift by the script which reduces them to background characters although they’re present in the on-screen proceedings from start to finish. Esha participates in a camel race that could have been filled with suspense and spectacular shots of the desert, BUT it is no such thing.

Saddest of all, Esha Deol for whom this film is meant to be a showcase, comes off looking both tired and uninvolved. Does her make-up artist not know how to handle under-eye dark circles? Didn’t the film’s light technicians and camerapersons know how to highlight a facial glow? It’s really unfortunate because this film is the first time that Esha has appeared on screen with both her legendary actor parents. Oddly enough, the episode involving Dharmendra and Hema Malini has been the least efficiently handled.

As I said, it breaks my heart to write this review …

Now I’m off to gather up the pieces of that broken heart before I write my next review!  

Rating (out of five):  *

CBFC Rating:                       U without cuts

Running time:                        132 Minutes

Language:                              Hindi

Photograph courtesy: http://www.facebook.com/TellMeOKhuda

REVIEW 43: LOVE U … MR KALAKAAR

Release date:	May 13, 2011
Director:	S. Manasvi
Cast:	Amrita Rao, Tusshar Kapoor, Ram Kapoor, Prem Chopra, Madhoo, Kiran Kumar, Yatin Karyekar

Of course controlling fathers do exist in our country! Of course many rich parents do throw obstacles in the way of their kids when they hook up with poor folk! But what would you say if I were to tell you that in Rajshri Productions’ Love U … Mr Kalakaar, when the daughter of a millionaire businessman falls in love with a struggling artist, Daddy says to the boy: here’s a challenge - if you love my girl, take over as the managing director of my Rs 500 crore auto-spare-parts manufacturing company for three months, and keep it profitable; if you pass the test, you can marry her; if you fail, you’re out of her life? I kid you not! That’s precisely what Deshraj Diwan (Ram Kapoor) does when his only child Ritu (Amrita Rao) falls for Sahil Rastogi (Tusshar Kapoor). Not only does Sahil accept this absurd proposition, Ritu barely lets out a whimper of protest at being treated as the prize in this ‘test’ long past the era when Draupadi was gambled away by her husband!

It’s the ridiculousness of the ‘test’ that I’m protesting against, NOT the conservatism of this family set-up. Rajshri’s films are known for being placed in ultra-traditional social milieus, but – like it or not – they are a reality in our country. So yes, there are warring fathers who would stand in the way of their children’s love (Maine Pyaar Kiya); yes there are young girls who get emotionally blackmailed into marrying their dead sister’s widower so that the grandchild gets a replacement mother (Hum Aapke Hain Koun!); and yes, there are millions of Indian couples for whom an arranged marriage means meeting each other just once before saying yes (Vivah). But at their best, films from this iconic production house have woven reasonably believable plots, charismatic stars and memorable melodies through these conservative settings to tell us entertaining stories.

Love U … Mr Kalakaar has none of these elements. Tusshar Kapoor’s usual deadpan style – utilised effectively by directors Krishna DK and Raj Nidimoru just recently in Shor in the City – is a downer here. Amrita Rao is a pretty girl who isn’t too bad as a performer but is yet to develop an arresting screen presence. Ram Kapoor playing her father is the most appealing of the cast. Madhoo as the aunt is charming and looks as fit in this film as she did back when she made her Bollywood debut opposite Ajay Devgn in Phool aur Kaante. And veteran Prem Chopra as the wise granddad is at least saved the embarrassment of mouthing lets-play-office-office lines peppered with management jargon that’s clearly meant to sound clever, but has as much believability as Kangna Ranaut and Abhishek Bachchan trying to do a C.S.I. in Game.

No doubt this is a film with good intentions and the trademark Rajshri quaintness. In a scenario where Hindi film heroes and heroines are bedding each other at the drop of a hat, there’s some charm in hearing Tusshar’s Sahil tell the girl: “Mujhe laga ki next step yahi (read: marriage) hai … Beech mein kya hota hai, mujhe iska koi andaaza nahi hai.” This could have been a film that warmed the heart with its story about an artist entering a big-bucks business and humanising it, seeing employees as people and not just resources. But the direction and script are too bland. Even the songs are forgettable, which is a crying shame considering that music has always been Rajshri’s strength. As for logic … please notice that I’m not even getting into what the board of directors were doing while the chairman of Diwan Enterprises appointed a rookie as the MD; I’m not even asking whether we are expected to believe that this is a Rs 500 crore sole proprietorship; because of course we as Hindi film viewers are not meant to care about details!

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not dismissing this film simply because it’s set in a world that’s alien to me. C’mon, I’m the sort of emotional sod who cried while watching Vivah starring Rao with Shahid Kapoor, even though every cell in my being rebelled against the traditionalism of the lead pair’s families! Take it from a cry baby like me: Love U … Mr Kalakaar is a bore. The only thing I remember about it is that Amrita Rao has an enviably tiny waist!

Rating (out of five): *1/2

CBFC Rating:                       U without cuts

Running time:                        154 Minutes

Language:                              Hindi

Photograph courtesy: http://www.rajshriproductions.com/lumk/